Strangers

I walked past him in the street many times
Never really remembered what he looked like
Never gave him a second thought as I blazed
My way past most things good and bad in life
I was happy I was sad
But mostly I was just in my own land
Never bothering to look at strangers twice
Without malice without spite
Like a butterfly on a leaf
The sun was shining
Life was sweet
And I was flitting along
Every second every week
Then one day....
Things just changed and made it so
I sat up and had to know
What it was that changed my life
And that's when
The stranger caught my eye
I'd been happy I'd been pleased
Life was special
Life was sweet
But I had been flying past it
And it was then that I just knew
I had to stop and still construe
What every second in life meant
And how beautiful it was
To become another's piece of art
The glint in someone's eye
The look you'd give up all for and die
To have the colours filled in you
Till you became life-like and oh so true
Till you'd think of nothing else
But how you missed the stranger until then
And I became complete!

You complete me!

Thank you for everything!

Lucerne!

Untitled, Unnamed!

It's hard to think
To breathe even
With the clutter of thoughts
And noise even
Mundanities
Fighting for space
Idiocities
Belonging solely to the human race
Poetry will have to wait
While I rant and rave
About selfish desires
I have no need to have.
Human beings have a quality
No other species deigned to have
The ability to self-destruct
In want of all things but
What they already possess
Looks less shiny
Than what beckons to them
From another's kitty.
Call it temptation
Call it sin
Call it illicit
Call it a whim
But our fancies lead us
To break our own rules
And the already fragile
Realm of our dunes
Those gentle slopes
Become craggy edges
As they beckon us
To let ourselves fall over
At such a time only
When we're truly lost and lonely
There comes the hand of one
Which we think pushes us over
That hand my friend
Is but the one which
Lets you get a taste
Of how bad it can be
And bails you out also
When you see
How treacherous
The sea below can be.
Deem not that hand
As evil then
But think instead
Of how you'd be lost
If you weren't held
Weren't tied together
By the one true reason of life
That which is simply,
Love Divine

Genius

Genius! The word used to conjure visions of 100 percent scores in mental math classes and an absolute stunning proficiency in something as boring and unwonderful and markedly adult such as chess... I mean a genius wouldnt even use a word like unwonderful in the colourless existence attributed to geniuses in my juvenile mind...

But I guess the meanings, contexts and environs attached to every word change with time and the situation of life we are in that is our maturity...

Why am I saying this?

Because today I read somethingabout a person I knew a long time ago in life... A person I thought was a genius because he scored such brilliant marks at the school finishing exams and was the apple of everyone's eye... Oh he's going to be special one day was the common consensus on the subject... And I thought yeah well its just the marks... Anybody could do that if they tried hard enough... Such was the thinking of my childlike mind....

But the truth is there is such a thing as a person who just hones his/her mental skills better than all of us put together. Partly maybe because they try hard enough and partly because they can...

I used to believe writing is a skill as far divorced from math as possible.. I mean it was always one or the other... Either you could write or you could do math... But you know what there are people who can do both as well??

And then the ultimate bastion of marked intelligence is that they can play a good game of chess.. How do you compete with that?

The answer is you don't... Some people just are better than others... I think it is such people who stop us from taking ourselves too seriously. The belief that we could do what we want to do if only we pushed ourselves hard enough.. But if we're so complacent about our potential then why are we not exhibiting it more often.. Because somewhere deep inside, we're not sure we can push ourselves that far and not snap...

That is not to say that all the guys who did well in school are the true geniuses who will build the future of India (or Amreeka, as may be the case) or even their own future for that matter...

But truly there are people who have an aptitude for engineering and an interest in medicine and who succeed a hundred percent even when they do medicine.... And they can write well, they speak well... And to top it all, guess what, they can play chess too!!!

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

Ashes to Ashes
Dust to Dust
Unbelieveable truths
A flash of time
Life shocking us
In all its suddenness
Defining what we think
In the midst of all the mess
A moment of lucidity
And darkness again.

So much to think about
So many hills to climb
Just one moment of victory
For the thousand hours in time
Spent in thinking
Spent in building
A castle of my dreams
Which exists only in my mind.

The page is turned
And a new dawn comes
Heralding a new victor
A new age in time;
My castle is relegated
To its place of creation
The only place it ever existed
Deep within my mind.

Forced into subjugation
To accept the truth
To know the law of the Just
Ashes to Ashes
Dust to Dust.

A Stray Story- Short Story

Three little kids in floppy straw hats pattered across the green lawn towards a young teenager sprawled in a hammock.
The girl in the hammock smiled to herself and then let out a sigh at being shaken out of her reverie. She had been thinking thoughts such as only 18 year olds could think. Seemingly naughty thoughts about a favorite boy and blushing at the thought of the time He spoke to her. How the world seemed to narrow down to that time and place. How if she wanted to, she could actually remember the moment down to its final detail.

Oh, bother! There were the kids two girls aged all of ten years and a kid brother 8 years old arguing in the usual girls vs. boys way whether snakes could fly. She put down her book and sat up to mediate the issue with all the wisdom of an 18-yr old as they brought the matter to her to sort out.

An old blue van was making its way down the driveway. It screeched to a halt in front of the oddly placed vegetable garden, throwing up clouds of dust that set all four of them off coughing and the argument over the snakes was forgotten.

It was 1986. It was bad enough being a single young woman and that too one saddled with 3 siblings to care for. She was the only one who still had a vivid memory of her parents walking out on them. Her mother Jan was a deranged woman addicted to everything she could possibly be addicted to by the time she became an adult. The only reason she didn’t get into trouble with the law was her sweet angelic face that fooled even the toughest jurors. Ha! She sadly thought. Yeah right, sweet and angelic. Only she knew what lay behind the mask. A cold, demonic character who’d always whizzed into her life just long enough to leave her latest offspring in Dorothy’s care. Dorothy was her first-born but not her first child conceived. Jan’s mother had always prevailed on her to abort the earlier fetuses. She’d have been only too happy to do the same to Dorothy; only she figured it out a little too late. Her mother threw her out as soon as she knew about it. Dorothy often wondered if it would have been different if her grandmother had reacted differently but then decided against it. Jan was already too far-gone to get back to normalcy but then there was always Providence.

Now her arms went cold as she saw Sheriff get out of the blue van. Her grim face closed to scrutiny or even mere exploration. It was always a bad sign when she looked like that. She wondered what it was this time. As far as she remembered, the bills were all paid up and the mortgage was only one installment behind. It couldn’t possibly be about money.

Sheriff Mae Rakeson walked towards the four with a very determined gait. Even then all she could think was, “Look at their faces. How am I ever going to break it to them?” and thought for the tenth time, “God, I hate this job. But then better me than anyone else.”

“Good afternoon, Dorothy. How are you all doing?”

“Well Sheriff, you’re obviously not here to ask me when the potatoes are coming out; so, what’s up?”

“You’re damn right I’m not. Dotty, it’s Jan. They found her on the pier last night. She’d overdosed on some pure stuff going around in the market these days.”

Dorothy hated the woman, didn’t she? Then why was it feeling like her world was about to come crashing down. She saw 8-year old Steven’s eyes as round as saucers and Steffie and Mary’s sullen expressions that seemed to have ‘bugger off’ stamped across.

“So”, continued Sheriff Mae, “Jan was your legal parent and guardian and the only reason why you didn’t go into foster care. Now since you have no fixed close guardian, you will be split up and sent to various temporary institutions.”

“No”, exclaimed Dorothy. “You can’t split us up. We’re each other’s strength. Can’t I adopt them? I mean get to keep all of them?”

Mae looked at her for a minute as if she was queer in the head but just before she opened her mouth to reply, the gravity of what Dorothy had said struck her and she considered it for real. She bit her lip and wondered whether it could be arranged. It had never been done before. Never had it happened that a person had been entrusted with the responsibility of his or her siblings. It was a first and it could be done but could she find a judge and a jury who would agree to it?

Finally, she opened her mouth to answer Dorothy. “ It could be done, Dotty. I’m with you all the way.”

Dorothy did not answer. She just stared on with an unremitting fire blazing in her eyes and her cheeks.

Mae walked away quickly.

Living in the ghetto had not put the edge into Dorothy West. The kind-faced old judge thought to herself. “She’s barely a child herself. I hope she knows what she’s getting into.”

“Dorothy West, do you think you will be able to care for and provide for these three young children?”

“Yes, I do without a doubt. I would know of all the people, Your Honour. I’ve brought them up and made them even this big. Our parents haven’t really been around too often. In fact our fathers not at all, our mother dropped in once in a while.”

Judge Gordon saw the steely glint in her eyes and the resolve in her voice to protect her blood was primal. She saw that if there was anywhere the kids would assuredly be happy, it was with her. God knows she deserved it.

“ By the power vested in me, I hereby declare that Dorothy West is given guardianship of Steven Ray West, Stephanie Nicole West and Mary Giselle West for a probationary period of three months after which an evaluation will take place and the permanence will be determined.”


That seemed like a long time ago. Dorothy West lay on her feathered bed now, covered by layers of down. Her skin drooped from her bones like a turkey’s. Steven, Steffie and Mary sat by her side and looked at her. She thought how beautiful they looked. It was an old woman’s perspective now though. And then she forever closed her eyes. She had a bone to pick with Someone Up There an she was going to Him, safe in the knowledge that she had made three lives possible.

Eternity!- Short Story

“Watch out for that…..”, came the cry as the reporter backed up farther and farther towards the green grass. “No one’s allowed to step on madam’s lawns and the grass”, said the stiff maid in the starched black dress to the reporter. Hordes of people stood along the long, winding road that led to Gordon House. All those who’d come to bow their heads for a last time to the great lady.

“Elizabeth Burke died in her sleep this morning. She was a woman of millions and for millions. She was unmarried and has died heirless and intestate. Speculation is rife about where the millions will be invested or whether they will be used to fund some of her favoured charities…..”, the reporter was saying.

People milled around, gawked at what was around them, most of them being first time visitors to the place. Everyone who was anyone was giving interviews to the press. In the midst of all this, no one noticed the gaunt old man standing on the grass in gardener’s clothes, holding a weathered brown hat in his hand. His oldness and dried, weather-beaten skin stuck out like a sore thumb on the vast expanse of green richness.

He stood there thinking, going back in time. In his mind’s eye, he only saw the young pretty girl whom he’d loved, whose hand he’d held as she became a woman, whom he’d stood by while she buried her family one by one, who grew into a magnificent, grand old woman who changed people’s lives, a woman who’d walked with him all the way on the grass they’d lovingly sown and made sure no one else tread on it, a woman who loved him and he her without doubt and question.

In all the confusion, no one noticed him as he walked up to her open casket, laid a single yellow flower on it and whispered softly in a voice only she and her angels could hear, “I won’t be long, Elizabeth, I won’t be long.”

The mystery of life!

Mysteries, mysteries, mysteries, galore.

What is the rhythm life runs on?

Who decides what life will be?

Who decides what life is?

What is life?

What is illusion?

Why do we exist?

What is the good reason?

It plagues my heart,

And plunders my soul;

The burden of the questions,

I have asked here before.

Every minute, every second,

I breathe, I ask.

Why amI chosen,

For the breath I pass?

Why can I breathe;

Reaffirm my life,

While someone, somewhere is deprived of it?

In one moment,

Two lives change.

Mine, moves on,

And another is stilled.

Why am I special?

Or am I really, now?

Or am I paying for my sins

By just being what I am?

And how!

Moving On...

No one to ask.

No one to tell.

How it came to be,

What I fail to understand.

You've moved on

And I'm still here.

How it came to be

And how there's no fear.

Only the knowledge;

Of Uncertainty.

Of what I shall never know.

Of how it is so simple,

For you to say "Here I go."

And why it's so hard

For me to believe it's really so.

My heart's still in one piece,

Because it's still with you.

You've gone away

And I'm still here.

You took what was yours,

You took your heart away.

Leave me, my love!

Let go, my life!

But it's strange,

Though they're linked,

Life still resides

In the empty shell

That's me.

An excuse for poetry.

A verse, an attempt,

To see if what Jane Austen said,

Is for real or make believe,

Like everything else I've ever seen!

p.s.: What Jane Austen said in her book "Pride & Prejudice" was:-

Elizabeth: " I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love."

Darcy: "I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love."

Elizabeth: "Of a fine stout, healthy love it may be. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it only be a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet willstarve it entirely away."

A classic if you ask me!

Love Divine!

A thousand words,

A thousand times.

Yet everyday,

Is a brand new time.

No matter how,

I look at it

No matter how,

I consider it;

What's inside of me,

Is love divine;

Pure and Simple,

With gleen and shine;

Bearing testimony

Of every moment

We've shared and cared

And lived alike.

Our soul is one,

Our lives are two

No matter what

Or how we do

We shall remain

Forever one

In each other's hearts

Or atleast one

In my timeless thoughts

They call it memories

We shall remain

The way we are.

And when I look back

In wonder then;

At the way we were

And find again

That what's inside me,

Is love divine

Pure and Simple

And still,

With gleen and shine!

Stop... and think..

The phenomenon of suicide among the youth



Being suicidal is not uncommon or wrong. Choosing to actually commit suicide is.

Quite a strong statement to begin with. I know. But let’s just be honest with each other for once. Me as the author and you as the reader. Let’s not be judgmental already. Life is as it is series of hard choices to make. Some of us do make the wrong choices and they’re entitled to them. Everyone makes mistakes after all. But consider this for a bit before you pass a judgment or decide what to think.

“Suicide is an attempt to seek relief. Relief is a feeling. And you can only feel a feeling if you are alive.” You can’t feel a thing if you choose to die instead. A lot of us at some point of time have felt so miserable or helpless in life that suicide seemed like the easiest option out. And those who are reading this have obviously made the correct choice and have learnt huge lessons about hope and faith and healing.

Why does “Failure is a stepping stone to success.” have to remain a line we learnt and forgot about in school? It’s a rhetoric question and the point is it doesn’t have to be. Failure and loss are passing phases. If you didn’t do well enough in your exams, it probably means that you didn’t study hard enough. If a love affair didn’t work out then it probably means that the person didn’t really care about you as much as you thought they did. If it’s a life and death matter then one must understand its part of the deal we make when we are born: to handle such occurrences maturely. You can choose to revel in a person’s memories than to die in their wake. Giving your life will not ease the pain of losing someone and nor will it bring back the person you lost. It will only be a cause for more concern and pain.

Instead, talk about your pain; share what you feel with another. Maybe another person went through what you did and may help you deal with it. Not everyone is prejudiced against suicidal thoughts. Forget about stigmas for a while and see a therapist. People around you who think you’re a bit tweaked are fools. They are the kind who thought Galileo and Pascal were mad. Make your life your prime concern. Make living your prime goal. Dissatisfaction is a state of mind. Get over it. Get over yourself. Look at the bigger picture. Find something fulfilling to do. Cut your losses and get out of any and every hurtful situation you may be in. And last but not the least, count your blessings; you’ve probably had more good things happen to you than a lot of people have. You’re much better off than the dying, hungry children in Somalia. Think about it. Consider the fact that someone loved you enough to give birth to you. You owe it to them to live.
Live, I say!
Breathe!
The world is your oyster; gleam!
For you are the pearl!

And here I rest my case.

You're not alone!

Lost

A face in a million,
And I walk by myself.
A life like a zillion,
And I live by myself.
A poet unlike anyone,
My words don’t make sense,
Anguish is a marker
Despair is another
I see myself in bits and pieces,
I see myself in other faces,
I see myself in every grimace,
I see myself whenever you cry,
I’m your sadness,
I’m your tears,
I’m the sum of all your secret fears.

This is dedicated to all the tons of young people who live by themselves; away from their families.. You're not alone you know.. Don't be.. Suicide is some thing i feel very strongly against.. Please talk to someone before you decide to do anything drastic.. And if you ever feel you that life handed you the worst deal, close your eyes and think about children in Somalia.. You're better off you know..

Riverbend's Pain!

Pain prompts one to write. The world has seen all kind of writing because of pain ranging from suicide notes to ballads about heartbreak. It's all a person's personal pain on paper. How often does someone else's pain prompt one to write?

Wel, I don't know about you but today I want to write that I am capable of feeling the pain of another individual wholly unconnected with me and my situation in life... I want to write about a fellow blogger.. Riverbend, the author of Baghdad Burning...

I feel her pain..

It stumps me, how is it in the capacity of an individual to defile another individual's whole life for a selfish benefit.. Are we really that blinded by our own capital interests..

Beats me how a certain man or a lot of men in history for that matter fail to realize that people of a civilization have a history, a culture, a lifestyle which you have no right to disturb in any fashion, just because you deem fit and you are in a position of power to do so? Or are you trying to deem them uncivilized anyway and that it doesn't matter any which way you treat them because they've had worse..

Mr. Bush, imagine being fast asleep in your bed one night and suddenly waking up to find a soldier holding a gun to your head and another 10 surrounding your house.. There is an entire internationa community and a self-sufficient local community which is ready to bear responsibility of a senile old despotic leader.. You do not need to misuse your power to use it as a pretext to intrude into their homes and not just impede but infact make impossible their development as an individual country...

I allege that you did it just for the oil.. I suppose now the next thing is that Iraqi citizens should be grateful to you for al you've done for them.. And suppose for a second even if they were, there are almost 700 American mothers who will never forgive you for wilfully urdering their sons.. As Commander-in-Chief, you were responsible for them and their well being.. You betrayed a lot of confidences just to settle old scores..

Millions homeless.. Dying of either your bullets oryour mismanagement.. And you still got re-elected.. Pride comes before a fall.. I learnt that in primary school.. I dont suppose you ever went there Mr. Bush? Because if you had, you would also have learnt humanity and to feel another's pain..

I'd always thought it in the capacity of only content individuals to be able to be concerned about another's pain.. But as I've realised that's not true.. My life is not perfect.. Far from it in fact but look at her... Look at the way she lives.. Look at the way the population of Somalia lives.. Look at the way people live in villages in Orissa.. Suddenly my life is not that bad you.. My largest complaint for today is that I'm never going to be able to afford a Harvard education.. But look outside.. More than half the children in this world are not ever going to receive primary education forget the kind of chilhood i had..

Feel pain which is not yours for a change.. Change.. Be the Change..